the story line

I've chose to write out all my smoking experience here. Just to motivate myself to stop. I know smoking is bad, all the harmful effect and threat cigarettes can bring to us. But why ? Why cant i stop? The instant weight gain after quitting smoking makes me want to cry. I cant let myself grow fat, i cant. i really really cant. Its just to horrible. My weight is something i am very concern about, i rather die than to see myself grow fat. I am like any ordinary teen, growing fat makes me feel like dying. I never regretted that i start smoking. Family and Friends kept advising me to quit, but its not as easy as it seems, the lack of nicotine in your blood can gives you headache. (not everyone but some). I had serious headache. After stopping for 2 weeks, i couldn't resist anymore. When i took a puff, i could feel it, i could feel the nicotine flowing throughout my blood vessels, from my heart all the way up to my brain. It's just so real, it's also the flow of toxic, I never felt so good before. It is like a MUST in my life, How can i stop? Nicotine patch? Chewing gum's? None of them worked for me. I need more motivation. Till then